I recently got a message about a post I wrote a while ago about flirting. I wrote that when I’m talking to a woman for the first time, I like to lightly touch her on the arm and see how she reacts. One of my readers wrote to me, “But like do you just touch her in the middle of conversation? There has to be a reason for it, no?”
My response? You actually don’t need to have a reason.
This hits close to home for me because I used to struggle with this a lot.
When I was going to kiss my future fiancée for the first time, I was super nervous and super hesitant about it. The moment was right. The mood was right. But I still felt like I needed a reason to do it. So, instead of just doing it and kissing her for the first time, I just kinda let my face hover in front of hers for about half a minute. Like a weird statue.
She still teases me about it to this day.
When it came to interacting with women, I thought that if I was too forward with her or I came on too strongly then I would come off as a douchebag. So, I always thought that I needed a reason to flirt with her or to go up and talk to her or to grab her hand for the first time.
You don’t need a reason to do any of that! It’s okay to just do it.
Obviously, you do want to be aware of social boundaries. Don’t try to grab her or kiss her before you’ve even met her. That does make you a douchebag and hopefully you already knew that.
However, it’s okay to be bold when interacting with her romantically! If you’re talking to a compatible woman then deep down she already knows there’s a possibility that your interactions might become romantic. (And you know what? If you’re lucky enough that’s she’s interested in you as well, then she’s hoping for a romantic interaction!)
So, touch her lightly on the arm as you talk to her. Hug her at the end of the night after your date. Kiss her when the time is right. There’s no need to half-ass your romantic gestures by needing a reason for any of that!
