Why you NEVER take advice from The Red Pill

This is the most selfish thing I’ve written so far.

A few weeks ago, I was driving my car and I realized that the driver seat seemed a little low compared to the rest of the car. Was my seat crooked? No, the seat was fine. Suddenly, I felt a pit in my stomach. I got out of the car and hoped that it wasn’t what I thought that it was.

It was. The tire went flat. Welp.

To make things worse, it was below freezing outside and I had not put on nearly enough layers to keep myself warm. Double welp.

With no other options, I rolled up my sleeves and got to work. However, it turned out that the lug nuts were frozen in place and could not be easily removed. That’s how I found myself stuck on the side of the road with a flat in subzero temperatures. Triple welp.

My reaction?

I’m a calm and gentle person by nature and it takes a lot to get me angry. So, when something does get me ticked off then you better believe it’s a big thing.

This ticks me off. Buckle up because it’s about to get real.

Recently I came across a post on Reddit where the poster asked “How much of the Red Pill is true?” and “Do women really respond to this quite well? Which type of women? All of them? I’m actually now scared to continue dating this girl now because I feel like eventually I’ll be the boring guy she is dating and she’ll cheat on me eventually with the Red Pill guy. The rock hard built guy who has lots of friends and social dominance.”

Ugh! It ticks me off that The Red Pill exists!!

What is The Red Pill?

If you don’t know what The Red Pill is then consider yourself lucky. I hope you hang on to your innocence for as long as you can.

Okay, okay. I get sarcastic and I start swearing when I’m angry but I’ll try to put that aside for the sake of writing a coherent article. No promises, though!

The Red Pill is a subreddit on the Reddit internet forums that purports to be about “Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men”. In reality, it’s ridden with misogyny and sleazy tactics that are utterly disrespectful to women.

I mean, look at that post at the bottom of the screen “7 Tips on keeping a Plate”. They don’t even recognize women as human beings. They refer to women as “plates”. FUCKING PLATES! And it’s got OVER 100 UPVOTES!!

Here’s a few examples of what they preach:

  • They teach “dread game” or making your girlfriend fear that you’re about to break up with her in order to make her do what you want her to do
  • Women are hypergamous and that they instinctually seek out the best Alpha male available, even if that means leaving the man that they are currently dating (or are married to)
  • Alphas make up 20% of the male population and have sex with 80% of women
  • If a woman is hesitant about having sex then you need to push past her “last minute resistance”
  • They believe that “All Women Are Like That” and that she’ll constantly throw “shit tests” at you to determine how much of an Alpha you really are

About that last bullet. According to The Red Pill, if she says: “I’m mad at you!” then it’s a shit test. The incorrect or Beta response (apparently) is to ask her what’s wrong or how you can make it better. Supposedly, the correct or Alpha response is to say something like “Good”, “I like you better mad”, or “That’s too bad. Frowning causes wrinkles.”

Does that sound like a bunch of nonsense to you? If so, that’s a good thing because it means you’re a decent human being. Common sense tells us that a lot of their ideas are wrong, that dread game is a scummy tactic, that women can’t be blanket generalized as hypergamous, and that shit tests are idiotic.

The truth about “Alpha” and “Beta”

According to The Red Pill, the “Alphas” form 20% of the men and they get to have sex with 80% of the women. This is commonly referred to as “Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks” by random weirdos on the internet who have no formal education in human behavior and yet who claim to understand women better than women understand themselves. If you pass her “shit tests” then you can prove yourself an alpha but if you fail then you’re a beta.

The Red Pill claims that this is how wolves behave in nature. The Alpha wolf is the leader of his pack and has the first choice of female wolves to choose from, while the Betas get his leftovers. They use this to justify acting like a jerk in real life because that’s supposedly how Alphas behave.

That’s also wrong.

Alpha and Beta don’t even exist in nature. The terms alpha and beta were first popularized in part by Dr. David L. Mech in 1970 based on his observations of wolves—in captivity. However, in 1999 he realized that wolves don’t naturally behave that way without human intervention and has since renounced the concept of alpha and beta. That’s right, The Red Pill is based on concepts that have been disproven for almost 20 years!

Why do this, then? Why use the terms alpha and beta when they’ve been demonstrated to be false? What’s really going on is that alpha and beta are used as a recruitment strategy. It forms a sort of club, and anyone who is a part of their in-crowd is labeled an “Alpha” and anyone who isn’t is labeled a “Beta”. The people who have swallowed The Red Pill and accepted the alternative facts as objective facts become their own clique, like the way that the jocks or cheerleaders or nerds form their own groups in high school.

After all, you don’t want to be a beta do you? You don’t want to lose your woman to one of the alphas who are having sex with 80% of the women right??

Forming their own clique allows them to rationalize away any logical argument against their ideology. If someone tells them that alpha and beta don’t actually exist in nature, they can just say “Oh, don’t listen to what he’s saying. He’s just a beta.”

It provides a way for blame someone else for your problems

As Dale Carnegie writes in How to Win Friends and Influence People, the infamous gangster Al Capone never thought himself guilty but instead saw himself as an unfairly persecuted man who only wanted to help others. When we fail at something, one of the hardest things we can possibly do is to take an honest look at ourselves and try to identify what we did wrong. It’s much, much easier to find someone or something else to blame for our shortcomings.

That guy who was my classmate in school and is now getting paid more than I am? He’s just a brown-nosing suck-up. I’m having trouble getting a date? It’s because I’m short and/or Asian. My friends keep beating me in Mario Party? They’re just lucky. As the Joker said in The Lego Batman Movie, “I’m not your worst enemy. Your worst enemy is you.”

On second thought, that one about losing at Mario Party might actually be true…

This kind of sleazy advice is prevalent because it offers men who are struggling with women an alternative explanation to why they aren’t having success with women. Some men struggle with women because they’re socially awkward, or they’re not presenting themselves well, or they have a negative attitude that women find unattractive. That’s a tough pill to swallow.

An easier pill to swallow is to simply blame other people for your failures. It’s much easier for them to blame feminism, or to claim that women don’t like nice guys, or to say that women are all irrational creatures and that’s why they can’t get a girlfriend. It doesn’t matter to them whether or not that’s actually true. The Red Pill offers them the dark promise of being able to get success with women without having to take that hard look at yourself and admit that you may be doing something wrong. The cost of admission is that you become a terrible person in the process. You sell your soul to the devil.

The price you pay for following The Red Pill

Okay, let’s get right to the Million Dollar Question. Does The Red Pill work?

It “works” in that you might be able to get a woman to stay with you in the short term. But after that you’ll begin to wonder why all of your relationships feel so unfulfilling.

The Red Pill is flat out emotional abuse. If you’re seeing a woman and you start to use dread game, she might wonder why you’ve suddenly started to act all cold and distant. She’ll wonder, “Is something the matter? What’s bothering you?”

The Red Pill will tell you that this is a shit test. Don’t fall for it. Hold your frame. Keep doing what you’re doing so that she’ll recognize you as an alpha and not a beta.

Maybe she’ll try harder to make you happy. Not because she’s trying to trick you but because she’s genuinely trying to make you feel better. “What’s gotten into you?” she thinks. To you, it looks like The Red Pill is working. But every dread game you play cuts her emotionally. She can’t feel the warmth or the secure, trusting bond that comes with a healthy relationship because you’re too busy waging psychological warfare with her. She may stick around for a period of time, hoping that you see the light and stop playing games with her.

But you don’t, because The Red Pill tells you not to look like a beta. And eventually she’ll get fed up and leave. Maybe not today. Maybe in a matter of weeks, or months, or even years. But she cannot be happy in such a relationship and every game you play just pushes her that much farther out the door.

You turn to The Red Pill forum. You post about your experience. Are the other guys there going to think for a while and say to themselves “Maybe this Red Pill isn’t working after all?” Nope. Instead, they’ll encourage you to double down on your beliefs!

“All Women Are Like That. AWALT,” they’ll tell you. “She fell in love with Chad.” You weren’t alpha enough, so she left you for someone who was. And you buy even deeper into The Red Pill philosophy in order to make yourself more alpha, unwilling to face the fact that it was The Red Pill that messed you up in the first place.

“The Red Pill is just incomplete! You can just take the good and leave the bad!”

*sigh* Here’s where I really get ticked off…

This is something I’ve heard from people defending The Red Pill. The Red Pill is not bad, they say. It’s just incomplete. You can just take whatever good advice you find there and ignore the misogynist parts.

Here’s the thing, though…NO OTHER SELF-HELP LITERATURE REQUIRES YOU TO DO THIS!! If you’re reading Models by Mark Manson or Mate by Tucker Max or The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by the late Stephen Covey, you don’t have to filter out the misogynist parts to only try and find the good parts. All of it is good advice! None of it is misogyny!!

Also, how are you supposed to filter out the bad stuff in the first place if you’re inexperienced and you don’t know anything about dating? You need to already be knowledgeable about dating in order cherry-pick the good gems of advice out of the bad stuff. But that’s why you were looking for advice in the first place…because you weren’t knowledgeable about dating yet and you wanted to be! How are you supposed to pick out the good advice from the bad if you don’t already know what the good advice is!?!

Finally, the people you surround yourself with influence your perception of reality. Even when you don’t think it does. In a 2005 experiment conducted by Gregory Berns of Emory University, volunteers played a game where they were shown two different objects on a computer screen and asked to decide whether the first object could be rotated to match the second. When played alone, the volunteers were incorrect only 13.8 percent of the time. But, when played with a group of other people—who were actually actors instructed to unanimously give the wrong answers—the volunteers were incorrect 41 percent of the time.

Here’s the kicker. Were the volunteers consciously giving the wrong answer to fit in with the group? Or, did the group’s opinion actually change the way they saw the shapes? We know the answer, because the volunteers had MRI scans as they were doing the activity. The volunteers weren’t consciously trying to fit in with the group.

The volunteers gave the wrong answers because the group’s opinion changed their perception of reality!

The people you surround yourself with influence the way you see the world. Many of us think we’re immune to marketing, even as we are unconsciously influenced by it. If you swallow The Red Pill thinking you’re smart enough to just ignore the misogyny, guess again. That’s when it really gets you.

“But I used The Red Pill and it helped me!”

That might be true. If you have used The Red Pill and accomplished some sort of self-improvement, congratulations. I mean that. There’s no need for me to belittle your accomplishment in any way.

I will admit The Red Pill does have some good gems of advice. Abundance mentality. Not putting women on a pedestal. Working out and being healthy. All good pieces of advice to follow.

Here’s the thing about taking advice from The Red Pill, though. All of those good gems of advice are buried under mountains and mountains of misogyny. And if you’ve successfully applied advice from The Red Pill to better your dating life, then you could have gone to any other place that offers dating advice and gotten those same gems, but without all of the woman-hating.

Seriously, go read something like Models by Mark Manson or How to Win Friends and Influence People by the late Dale Carnegie.

“There will always be people being extreme or callous but why the charge against the actual philosophy? It’s like hating the whole of Islam because of the actions of a small sub-group.”

Finally, I’m sure some people will think I’m being too harsh with The Red Pill as a whole. That it’s not worth dismissing the entire philosophy just because some of its follows have decided to be all misogynistic and women-hating.

And to that I have to say…

It refers to women as “bitches” on the FUCKING SIDEBAR!!!

*sigh*

Alright, alright. Calm down Steve.

Is it too optimistic for me to believe that the 2,400 words I’ve written above are going to convince anyone to spit out The Red Pill? Probably. Red Pillers have an amazing capacity to ignore logic, even though they claim that women are the illogical ones.

No, I don’t honest believe that any of this is going to convert any Red Pill followers away from the cult.

When I was little, I used to be afraid of many things that my adult self would think was silly today. I used to be afraid of the dark. Of monsters hiding in my closet. Of that freaking piano guarding the red coin in Big Boo’s Haunt and that giant eel in Jolly Roger Bay.

Seriously Nintendo, this thing is freaking terrifying when you’re young!

Today, the things that scare me are different. What scares me is the idea that a well-meaning gentleman might stumble upon The Red Pill. Perhaps he doesn’t have a lot of dating experience. Or maybe he’s been burned a few times in the past by women who didn’t respect him. So he goes looking for dating advice. And he comes across The Red Pill.

It makes him feel uncomfortable at first. “Is this really true?” he wonders. He doesn’t feel too good about the advice, but he doesn’t have that frame of reference to dispute the things he’s reading. He doesn’t have enough experience to argue against what they’re saying. So he tries to implement what he comes across. And it seems to work, at first. He gets more dates. More women going out with him. He feels a little better about himself. But his relationships are rocky and filled with drama. Has he started to become a jerk? An asshole? Should he start to reconsider his beliefs?

“All Women Are Like That. AWALT,” The Red Pill tells him. They reassure him that it’s not his fault. That the reason for all his dating hardships is because women are little emotional creatures who are unable to use logic. They’re not even human beings. They’re “plates”. And at that crucial moment when he begins to reconsider the way he interacts with women, The Red Pill persuades him otherwise and instead encourages him to double down on his beliefs. To “alpha” even harder and stop being such a “beta”. Then she’ll get the tingles for him and do anything that he wants. And all of his problems will be solved. So he sinks even further into the cult and loses any shred of self-awareness, blaming women for his problems while simultaneously being the cause of them.

To me, The Red Pill is complete and utter nonsense. And I hope that it’s nonsense to you as well. I didn’t write this article to convince any Red Pillers to leave their cult. I’m not that optimistic. Like I said before, I’ve written this post for selfish reasons.

I wrote this on the off-chance that the well-meaning gentleman sees this post first. I want him to know that there’s an alternative to all that sleazy advice out there. Before he accidentally stumbles upon The Red Pill. Because that idea scares me. It keeps me up at night and makes it hard to fall asleep, knowing that this sort of misogynistic darkness exists. So maybe…just maybe…he’ll see this post first before he wanders off into The Red Pill.

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you NEVER take advice from The Red Pill. Ever.

Maybe now I can fall asleep tonight.

34 thoughts on “Why you NEVER take advice from The Red Pill

  1. Thank you for writing this. A few nights ago I found myself inmersed in this dante-like cult and the other side of the coin too, The Black Pill. It really scares the shit out of me too thinking that in these obscure places dwell this kind of people and everyday more kids will be reading this…I don’t even know if I should talk with friends about this, fearing that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. Cheers my friend, hard to not being sad about certain stuff….

  2. This was a good read right up until the very end where it was all torn apart by you having that AD.
    “Sign up and you’ll get my free “How to Talk to Women” conversational cheat sheet that will show you exact words you can use to approach her, to keep the conversation going, and then to get her number or ask her out.”
    This makes you no better than the horrible red-pillers your whole article was about.

    1. As sleazy as that ad at the end is, and despite the fact that I haven’t even read the newsletter in question…

      I really, really doubt that it contains anything even remotely as misanthropic as The Red Pill. That stuff is legitimately dangerous, while I’m going to guess that the contents of the newsletter are just trite and potentially selling the email address to spammers. I’d pick trite and spammy over teaching people how to perform emotional abuse any day.

    2. Let me get this straight.

      I’ve created something that’s 1) helpful, 2) free, and 3) completely optional to sign up for…and this makes me as bad as the Red Pill followers that I denounce? Why is that?

      Keep in mind that this article is over 3,000 words long. I expect the same level of detail in your response.

  3. “Seriously, go read something like Models by Mark Manson or How to Win Friends and Influence People by the late Dale Carnegie.” I did.
    Models didn’t do anything for me.
    How to win friends was very helpful… In winning friends and being friend-zoned.
    What else?

  4. I gotta feeling you attack TRP as you see it as competition to against your white knight dating agenda.

    Also you contradict yourself in this article.

    The only B word I call women is beautiful, bitches love to be called beautiful.

  5. Yeah yeah, your article is fucking bullshit. Let me explain.

    I was a kissless virgin until I was 18. I “got lucky” and got to second base with 3-4 chicks over the course of a YEAR afterwards, because I hit the gym real hard.

    I got my heart crushed pretty hard by a girl that of course saw me as a friend. Because I was nice. Looking back at it now from a red pill perspective, I could have easily fucked her, if I knew then what I know now. Anyway, that caused me to go find the redpill. I read. I read. I read even more. I read it all. And I started applying it. Know what fucking happened? I got a lot better with chicks. Literally all I ever wanted. I lost my virginity. I was insanely happy.

    Know what didn’t happen? I didn’t cry myself to sleep because the chick I liked was making out with another guy in front of me. Which was me before the red pill.

    Now you did state that it “works” in the way you’ll get chicks for some time, but eventually (maybe even after years) they’ll leave you. Assuming that’s true because “dread game” is bad, and not because you became too much of a doormat, here’s the continuation of my story:

    I came across a girl I clicked with. Well. REAL well. As in, we say the same thing approximately 50 times a day (not even exaggerating). We’re basically the same person but of the opposite sex. It legitimately scares us (and again this is not an exaggeration). It scares the people that know us. I’ve been a little less red pill on her the more we get into our relationship, but I maintain that I am in charge, I maintain dread game if she acts out, I keep frame. I love this girl despite that. And she loves me.

    Know how I got her? I took all of red pill’s advice, that’s how. The pre redpill me would never have gotten her, would be seen as a friend (which is how she sees one guy she knows is in love with her, that guy is WAY nicer than me, so how then if you’re right, is she with me and not with him? ).

    Use the red pill. Use it a lot. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck to be happy as a man. Fuck until you meet the person like I did. Then choose for yourself what to do with her because you’re experienced enough at that point.

    TRP would call this “oneitis” and remind me that “AWALT”. I keep that in mind. I am ready to lose her at any time. And it’s because of that that the relationship is working. The relationship I never would have had without TRP.

    So don’t claim that it doesn’t work. It made me the happiest I’ve ever been.

    1. I’ve already addressed this in the article but perhaps it bears repeating. Dread game is emotional abuse and you deprive both you and her of the secure, trusting bond that comes with a healthy relationship. It speaks volumes that you’ve already created contingency plans on what to do when you lose her.

      Nobody in a secure relationship does that.

  6. There has been a Feminist war on men that goes back to the 1970’s and turned ugly in the 1980’s. It has recently been escalated by the #meetoo movement. Do I think that sexual harassment doesn’t exist? I not saying it doesn’t, but how many men have had their lives seriously messed up by false claims? Also how many men are unknowingly raising other men’s babies and those who find out too late when they go for the divorce find out that the courts and the law are stacked against them. They are “Divorce Raped” and are forced to pay child support for a child that is not even his. How many women have taken men’s seed from a condom and impregnated themselves against the will of their partner? Then the man is either trapped into marrying, or forced to pay child support for 18 years. If women are truly equal then why are men still paying alimony . Take Johnny Depp , he had to pay Amber Heard 7 million dollars for 15 months of marriage, that is $466,666.66 a month. It is not that Amber is destitute. In 2015 She earned at least $259,876, She was paid $2 million for her role in the 2017 movie Justice League. TRP is the reaction to all of those things. TRP is not only a philosophy about women it is a philosophy about life. There is a lot of TRP that correlates with other self help philosophies in business and life. TRP is also the backlash to the constant men bashing that takes place daily in the media.

  7. TRP isn’t about misogyny. It’s about the truth. You want to operate on a set of false premises that’s your prerogative. At least the TRP guys make an attempt to get at the truth.

    You obviously don’t have the requisite experience to advise men on relationships.

  8. “Models didn’t do anything for me.
    How to win friends was very helpful… In winning friends and being friend-zoned.
    What else?”

    You can hand somebody a set of tools and all the supplies they need but that doesn’t mean they know how to build a house with it…

  9. Steven Zawila (the author of this article) has basically negative sex appeal. This is grade A “blind leading the blind” material. Just look at his profile pic (he even has on a little undershirt lmao.) I’m guessing this ‘dating guru’ has been intimate with under 10 women in his entire life. I wasn’t even going to comment on this until I read his profile where he explains he’s a dating coach (DOUBLE LOL)

    I think what this guy is missing is that he believes that men and women are actually equal in the sexual marketplace. He doesn’t seem to understand that the average woman has sexual relationships flung at her at prolly a 100x greater rate than the average man. This is why ‘dread game’ is an important part of a healthy long lasting relationship with a high value woman… she has to know her man is as valuable as she is, and there’s no better proof of that than showing a willingness to leave the relationship if it isn’t beneficial to him. Women do this all the time, so why shouldn’t men?

    As a side note, the author of this article also seems to misunderstand what dread game actually is (big surprise!). Not letting women get emotionally abusive or high and mighty about her participation in the relationship by showing a willingness to leave is not abuse or misogyny; it’s called setting healthy boundaries. And to pretend that women don’t test their men (even subconsciously) is a little sophomoric and speaks volumes about this ‘dating guru’. It shows also in one of his replies to a previous comment where he says it’s insecure and ’emotional abuse’ to have ‘contingency plans’ aka been a high value person that can actually go out and get some. It’s just so childish to preach this kind of advice. It’s like saying a good looking woman who goes to the gym is emotionally abusing her guy and that she should get fat and ugly so she lacks ‘contingencies’.

    Steven Zawila even admits he doesn’t have any experience, so why is he writing a 3000 word article about that in which he has no experience??? Lol, he might as well say “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV. You have cancer!”

    1. Sid, please educate yourself on the “ad hominem” logical fallacy before commenting again. About half of your comment commits this fallacy. (Also, LOL at “negative sex appeal”. Looks like the women I’ve dated just never got the memo.)

      I’ve already addressed this in my article and other comments. Dread game is emotional abuse. It deprives both you and her of the secure, trusting bond that comes with a stable relationship. In a stable relationship, both partners are dedicated to making it work. That’s why a relationship where you are constantly reminding her that you’re willing to leave is, by definition, unstable. For the same reasons, a relationship where one party is making secret one-sided contingency plans is also by definition, unstable.

      Sid, you call me childish but is there anything less manly than running and hiding from an issue with your partner? Giving them the cold shoulder and ignoring everything in hopes that they come around? Ignoring her and hoping that she’s needy enough to want to ignore what’s making her feel unloved?? That’s what dread game is.

      There are better ways to show your worth in a relationship. Being open and authentic. Showing a willingness to be vulnerable. Paying attention to the things that she cares about. Making her feel loved in the ways that matter to her.

      The fact that “the average woman has sexual relationships flung at her at prolly [sic] a 100x greater rate than the average man” does not change this. If she’s willing to leave a committed relationship with you for some random stranger on the street who flirts with her, then you probably weren’t worth much to her in the first place.

      Finally, you’ve performed an incredible amount of mental gymnastics to arrive at the conclusion that I have no dating experience. In my response to Bill W. when I said “I don’t claim to have any level of experience”, I meant I do not proclaim any specific amount of experience. For you to believe otherwise, you would have had to ignore the very next sentence where I said “The results I’ve helped my clients achieve speak for themselves”. You would have also had to have ignored every other post written on this blog where I include personal stories of my experiences. Congratulations on arriving at a logically incorrect conclusion despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

      Mr Sid V, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

  10. White knights will always be white knights .

    Low status beta male

    Stay in your lane

    Calling yourself a “dating guru”

    We got 17 year old life coaches nowadays smh

    1. Wow. I’ve never seen that before. My heart goes out to that guy. He didn’t deserve anything that happened to him.

      HOWEVER, this does not validate The Red Pill in any way. TRP is centered around hatred of women, and a wife backstabbing her husband does not justify misogyny any more than a husband backstabbing his wife justifies misandry.

    1. What about not practicing misogyny at all?

      I checked out the article you linked and practically all of it is dubious. It’s facts and figures comes from sources of questionable validity such as “the-spearhead.com” which does not exist, as well as other WordPress and Blogspot websites. Many of its figures lack any citation, and I can only assume they were made up on the spot. In contrast, my facts and figures come from reputable sources such as the 2005 experiment by Gregory Berns of Emory University. I’ve even cited David L. Mech–the founder of the terms “alpha” and “beta”–disproving those very same terms.

  11. Hey Steven. Just…thank you for this. I stumbled in here from reddit and now I can leave with a little more faith in humanity then I started out with. It’s really nice seeing men supporting other men in a healthy non-toxic way. The world needs more of you.

  12. Thanks a lot man. This article really hit home.I found the red pill after a really bad break up and I felt like I have discovered some secret.I really had started seeing women as objects.Instead of being genuine, I always had the red pill in mind while talking to women. I actually remember being happy I found the red pill.

    People from the red pill community will call this blog as bullshit.How do I know which ideology is right?(Both are really convincing!) I really am confused.

    How do I get all that out of my head? Could you recommend any good books other than those you mentioned?

    1. Hi, confused! TBH, when I first stumbled across the red pill I was afraid that all of it was true. What if we really have been lied to all our lives? What if women really do prefer men who treat them as objects? What if the red pillers got it right and everybody else is getting it wrong?

      The red pill has an insidious way of preying upon your insecurities. Even if you know intellectually that what they’re saying does not logically make sense, it has a way of getting under your skin. It’s like if someone came up to you and said “You know everyone just tolerates you, right?” They’re probably just full of hot air…but now you’re thinking about it the next time you interact with your friends and family.

      Looking back, what helped me out was taking a look at the relationships of people around me. My parents are happily married and my dad never had to use ‘dread game’ on my mom. Some of my friends are also married and they never resort to using the red pill. Instead, they hold each other in mutual respect even when the going gets tough.

      Some other readings I would recommend:

      How to Be an Adult in Relationships by David Richo and Kathlyn Hendricks
      Rising Strong by Brene Brown (great book on getting back up when life knocks you down)
      https://markmanson.net/relationship-advice (if you read just one article on relationships, read this one!!)

  13. Mr. Confused,

    Why are you trying to forget what you learned at TRP? There is no problem seeing women as objects in the right situations, like dating etc. I’m women and, being heterosexual, see men as objects when talking about getting laid. Respect all the women you deal with in the daily bases but , please, don’t feel bad for lusting after some of this people. This is conservative bullshit trying to pass as a good thing. You are not a bad person because you want sex and relationships.

    1. Seeing women as objects is harmful because it is dehumanizing. It legitimizes treating women in ways that no human should ever be treated. “Psychological abuse” simply becomes “dread game”, while “rape” or “sexual assualt” becomes “pushing past her last minute resistance”.

        1. Well, I checked them out but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be seeing. I especially don’t see anything that justifies the misogyny found in The Red Pill. Can you tell me what I’m supposed to take away from these two links?

          1. No man ended up lonely, loveless or sexless for being mean or a bad person. Awful personality never decreases a man’s sexual success: it actually boosts it.

          2. OK, I see what you are trying to say now but I can’t agree with it. In the entire history of mankind, no man ended up lonely for being an asshole? Not one?? Ever??? That is an absurd premise.

            I want to point out the double standard in the second link you posted. The second link in your comment shows an example of a woman backstabbing her husband. Sadly, there are instances of women doing this. However, there are also instances of men who backstab their girlfriends or wives. If an instance of a woman backstabbing a man justifies misogyny (which I see that you believe) then an instance of a man backstabbing a woman also justifies misandry (which I see that you do NOT believe). Otherwise you’re just holding a double standard.

            And now the first link. It starts off trying to say something about “women on men’s personalities/manners/racism/height/etc…” by linking to Imgur screenshots and NOT actual studies. It then says that looks are just as important to women as to men.

            Well, why shouldn’t they be? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If I showed you 20 pictures of random women and told you nothing about their personalities, could you honestly tell me that all 20 were equally physically attractive to you? For you to have your own physical standards of women while criticizing women for having their own physical standards of men is hypocrisy.

            Next, it claims that “assholes and jerks get the most sex and most sexual partners”. To do this, it cites studies that looked at the behaviors of teens and undergrads. There’s the flaw–1) teens are notorious for making bad decisions, 2) students who aren’t bullies tend to be more focused on their studies rather than gaining a high number of sexual partners, and 3) students are not representative of the population as a whole.

            Finally, it asserts twice more that physical appearances are important. I’ve already addressed that above.

            “A person”, you’re welcome to comment but I urge you to stay away from these types of toxic websites. The more you go looking for information to reinforce a misogynic worldview, the more you’ll find it—even if it’s completely illogical. For a more wholesome view on relationships, go check out https://markmanson.net/relationship-advice. It includes advice from almost 1,500 people about what makes relationships work, and none of them involve being a jerk towards the people you love.

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