I’m back, baby!
It certainly has been a while since my last article, hasn’t it? Throughout the summer, I’ve been taking a cross-country road trip from Wisconsin to Montana. Also, I’ve become fully convinced that North Dakota does not exist.
Seriously. I drove to the spot labeled “North Dakota” on the map and there was nothing there. What gives?
Today I want to share with you a script that you can use to get your next date. The next time you’re talking to a woman you’re interested in, feel free to use these exact words to ask her out. I’m going over this with you because there are a few good ways to properly ask her out, but almost infinite ways to suck at asking her out.
How NOT to ask her out
If you’re talking to a woman that you’re interested in, you do not:
- Ask her if she wants to go out “sometime”
- Ask her if she wants to “hang out”
- Ask her when she’ll be available to go out with you
- Ask her out over Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/Reddit/etc.
- Ask her out by giving her your phone number
Sadly, I’ve done all those things in the past. They do not work.
The reason why is because:
- If you ask her if she wants to go out “sometime”
- That can mean any time, and usually means no time at all.
- If you ask her if she wants to “hang out”
- You’ve just friend zoned yourself. Friends “hang out”. Romantic interests do not “hang out”.
- If you ask her when she’ll be available
- This creates more busywork for her, and it doesn’t leave her a way to say no if she’s not interested.
- If you give her your phone number
- She’s not going to call you.
If I hear of one of my readers doing this then I’m going to facepalm so hard that I’ll wake up after Mars has been colonized.
How to ask a woman out and get a date
Here are the exact words you can use to say to her:
“Would you like to go with me to [specific place] on [specific time]?”
That’s it. Simple and effective. You can do this either in-person or via phone call. The key is to ask her out to a specific time and place.
Let’s go over this script. When you’re asking her out, you want to make it as easy as possible for her to say yes. If she’s interested, all she has to do is say one word,” yes”.
If you don’t have a time and place in mind, then it puts the onus on her to come up with a time and place herself. That creates additional busywork for her. If she has to jump through hoops to go out with you then it makes her much less likely to do so—even if she was interested in you in the first place!
What if she’s not available at that time?
This feels like a reasonable fear. What if you ask her out to go ice skating with you next Saturday…but she already has plans to go shopping with her girlfriends that day?
Here’s the thing. If she’s busy on the day that you picked, but she’s still interested in you, then she’ll let you know. She might propose an alternate time for you to go out. Or, she might let you know when she’s available.
If she does neither of those things, then she just might not be interested in going out with you. Personally, I’d try asking her out one more time, but if she turns you down again without proposing an alternate time then it’s time to move on.
What if I don’t know what she likes to do?
This is something that also held me back. How do you pick out a place or activity to ask her out to if you don’t already know what she likes to do? What if you ask her out to dinner at an Italian restaurant…but it turns out that she hates Italian food?
Something like that happened to me a while ago, and I’m happy to say that it had a happy ending. Once upon a time, I was chatting with a woman online over OKC and we were really hitting it off. Since we were having such a great conversation, I decided to ask her out to the State Fair. As it turned out, she’s not a big fan of the State Fair. However, she was still very interested in going out with me as well. She let me know that she thought the fair was boring, and the two of us decided to go play mini golf instead.
It’s that simple. Just take your best guess at what place or activity the two of you would enjoy doing together. If she doesn’t like that activity, she’ll let you know. Sometimes she’ll even pick an activity for you.
This is just one of the many scripts I have for you in The Quietly Romantic Guide to Talking to Women. Sign up below and I’ll send you the rest of the scripts.