I’ve been reading a lot of self-books these days and it seems like many of them have a similar exercise–

(GOOD self-help books, I mean. Not those weird ones from other dating coaches with half-naked women on the cover, but reputable books like The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey or The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman).

Books like these ask you to imagine your own funeral and write a eulogy for yourself. What do you want people to say about you when they talk about you? What legacy would you like to leave behind when you’re no longer here?

I’m gonna be honest and say that I’ve been resisting doing this exercise whenever I read it. Yeah, I know I should, but…

…holy cow, what a depressing thing to think about…

After reading this one, two, three times though, I started to get curious. Maybe it was worth thinking about it if several different authors were independently saying the same thing.

Turns out, it highlights an important part of being confident around women.

One of the best ways to become confident is to live a meaningful life. And thinking about what you’d like people to say about you when you’re not around is a great way to do just that.

Maybe it’s a bit much to ask you to imagine your own funeral. I mean, I still haven’t done that exercise myself. Who am I to tell you to do it?

Another great way to start moving toward a meaningful life is to choose what I call your “Awesome Alternative”, and it goes like this—

Continue reading Become confident by living a meaningful life →

Have you ever thought about how dangerous the modern world is?

You’re probably reading this email on your computer or phone right now. You would have had to plug in whatever device you’re reading this email on. If your fingers were just 1 or 2 centimeters off the mark, you could have fried yourself!

What an incredibly dangerous task! I’m sure you didn’t even think twice about pulling it off. That’s because you’ve already demonstrated to the part of your brain which controls confidence that you are capable of performing such a task.

The science behind where confidence comes from

That part of your brain is called the amygdala and it’s responsible for regulating your body’s emotional responses. One of those responses is fear and confidence. Its task is to keep you alive by making you feel unconfident around situations it believes you are not equipped to handle.

Continue reading The science behind feeling confident →

Lately I’ve been playing a lot of classic games using the NSO feature on the Nintendo Switch – you know, those old side-scrollers from the 80’s and 90’s.

When you play them on modern hardware, there’s often some Quality-of-Life improvements vs playing them on their original systems. For example, you can use ‘save states’ to reload at any time or even hold the trigger buttons together to rewind time on some games.

I try not to use those features when I play because I’m trying to capture the feeling of playing those games from my childhood – and that includes the tension of not screwing up at the end of a level.

Think about that. Why would I feel nervous at the end of a level?

It’s simple: if I screw up, I got to restart the whole level again!

This perfectly highlights where confidence comes from, and what factors can increase or decrease how confident we feel.

The ABC Confidence Principle

Being confident involves three factors. This is what I call the “ABC Confidence Principle”, and it goes like this:

[Ability + Belief + Curiosity = Confidence]

Generally speaking, how confident we are at any given task is a combination of 1) Our Ability to do the task, 2) Our Belief that we can pull it off successfully, and 3) Having a positive curiosity about your successes/failures (there are a couple of exceptions, but we’ll cover that later). Being confident around women involves both knowing how to talk to her, and developing a positive Belief in our Ability to do so.

Let’s start by talking about Ability.

Continue reading The ABC’s of being confident →

Welcome to 2026! Happy New Year!!

New year, new you huh. Have you made any New Year’s resolutions?

(More importantly, are you keeping them?)

Whatever you’re looking to accomplish in the new year – it all starts with being confident.

One of the best mindsets around confidence comes from a line you’re probably heard before if you watch any number of rom-coms:

“I just want you to be happy”

What does that line mean? Take a second and think about it.

Continue reading Let’s kick off 2026 with confidence!! →