Imagine that you’re on a Zoom call with a woman that you’ve started to connect with…
Initially, you met her on an online dating website. You check out her profile and, turns out, you both have many of the same hobbies! She seems like a cool person, so you decide to send her a message.
A few anxious moments pass. Did she even read your message? Your computer beeps, causing your heart to skip a beat.
It’s her! She responds to your message, and you have a little back-and-forth conversation before you have to log off. You tell her that you had a great time talking to her and you’d like to get to know her better. She agrees, and gives you her contact info.
That was several days ago.
Tonight, you’ve got your first date planned with her. Of course, you can’t meet up physically during social distancing, so you both decide to have your first date over Zoom instead. You plan to begin the night by having dinner together—that is, you’ve cooked some dinner for yourself, she’s cooked some food for herself, and you both plan to eat together virtually.
After dinner is drinks and a movie. She’s poured herself a glass of wine, you’ve poured yourself a glass as well, and you both turn the lights down as you both fire up Netflix simultaneously and watch a cheesy romantic comedy together.
Hey, it’s a virtual date, but it’s no less real than any other date!
I’ve decided that our dating lives don’t have to come to a halt just because of a global pandemic. In the immortal words of Patrick Star…
“We’re not cavemen! We have technology!”
In this case, “technology” is our ability to continue meeting and dating women—even during quarantine—through online dating platforms.
Now, some of my readers have mentioned that online dating apps are unfairly skewed in favor of women. In other words, it’s a lot easier to get a date online if you’re a girl than if you’re a guy.
I can’t really speak to this since…you know…I’ve never been a woman before, but I’d like to share the secret ingredient that made it easy for me to get dates online.
That secret ingredient is my messaging. That is, what “messaging” am I giving off online?
(Note: My “messaging” is different from the actual “messages” that I send out when I reach out to women online. “Messages” refers to the LITERAL messages I send, whereas “messaging” refers to the implicit and explicit things my profile says about me. Just keep reading…it’ll become clear in a sec.)
Take a look at this pic…
…say that you saw this picture on the professional website of a local gym. Would you sign up for a membership that gym? I certainly would. Give me that kind of body!
Now, let’s say that you saw this picture on some guy’s online dating profile. What comes to mind in this case?
Well, he looks immodest. He looks like a douche. He looks like the kind of person who would lie to a girl and whisper sweet nothings into her ear just to get her into bed, and then dump her the next day.
That’s the power of “messaging”.
Let me show you some of the pictures I’ve used throughout my online dating profiles. If they look familiar, they should, because they’re the same pictures I’ve used throughout my Quietly Romantic website.
What messaging does this set of pictures give off?
Think about it for a sec.
I’ll give you my own thoughts, but take a minute to think about it first. What are 1 – 3 things that come to mind when you look at this pic?
Like, actually take a minute or two and think about it before you scroll down and see my thoughts.
…
Okay, ready to compare notes? Here’s what I think.
This image shows a sense of innocence. Between the video game console, the plain-looking apartment, and the blue blanket, there’s a certain impish quality about this picture. After all, who still plays N64 in the era of Xbox One and PlayStation 4 right?
That’s exactly the message I was going for. You see, this picture was used in my online dating profile when I was in my early twenties. After all, what are men in their early twenties infamous for?
Only wanting sex and nothing else.
By using an innocent picture of myself on my online dating profile, I set myself apart from all those other guys who only wanted casual sex.
That’s the power of messaging.
One more thing. If I had to do it all over again, you would not find me using this picture today. This picture is good in my early twenties because it looks innocent. However, in my late twenties, it looks “childish”.
Why’s that? In your late twenties, women want someone who takes things a bit more seriously. They want someone who is more career-oriented and who can provide for a potential family in the near-future.
If I had to do it all again today, I’d probably use this picture instead…
What does this picture say in contrast with the previous picture? I still have my trademark innocent, genuine smile. But, I also look a bit more sophisticated than I did in my other picture.
That’s the “messaging” that I hope to give off. In fact, that’s the exact reason why I use this picture on my website today!
You now have one of my most powerful tools at your disposal when it comes to online dating – the power of “messaging”. In addition, I’ll be providing a final Q&A tomorrow to make this as easy as possible for you.
Best of luck!