Teasing: How important is it, really? And, how do you do it?

Is it just me, or do all the other dating coaches out there make it seem like ‘teasing’ is the most important skill you NEED to learn how to do with women?

Today, I’d like to talk about teasing. How important is it, really? And, how do you do it?

Let’s dive right in!

How important is teasing, really? And, how do you do it?

It’s not that important.


Some people like it. Some people don’t. I’ll admit, it’s fun. But it’s not the end-all-be-all that most dating coaches make it out to be.

With that being said, let’s talk about how to do teasing. The good news is that you most likely already have a lot of experience doing it with some of your friends or family members!

Ever had a gaming session with a few close friends that got so intense you started hurling insults at each other? Before the quarantine started, some of my friends and I would get together all the time to play video games or even card games like Uno. And let me tell you, we get CRAZY competitive when it comes to gaming.

Here’s a few ways I’ve taunted my friends during gaming sessions:

  • “Draw Four! You just got sent to the Shadow Realm!!”
  • “How’s the view from last place, loser?”
  • “What do you call an Asian playing Mario Kart? The winner!”

That’s what teasing is about. It’s making these playful jabs at each other’s expense, but keeping it all in good fun. Here’s a few ways my wife and I tease each other:

  • If I mispronounce something in Chinese, she’ll basically never let me live it down (“Hey remember that time you tried to say X but instead you said Y?”)
  • We’re both trying to be healthier, so every time she steps on the scale and weighs less than me I find a way to jokingly downplay her weight loss (“You just weigh less than I do because I drank more water during our workout!”)
  • She finds pictures of dogs online that she thinks look like me…
My wife thinks I look like a dog. I don’t see the resemblance, but whatever.

Basically, teasing is a fun way to help build up your relationships with friends or loved ones. It’s not super important—there are many other ways to create a connection as well—but it’s a fun way to get closer if you’re feeling up to it.

For more on teasing, including word-for-word scripts you can steal, check out The Quietly Romantic Guide to Talking to Women. Just enter your email below and I’ll send it right to your inbox!

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