Welcome to 2026! Happy New Year!!

New year, new you huh. Have you made any New Year’s resolutions?

(More importantly, are you keeping them?)

Whatever you’re looking to accomplish in the new year – it all starts with being confident.

One of the best mindsets around confidence comes from a line you’re probably heard before if you watch any number of rom-coms:

“I just want you to be happy”

What does that line mean? Take a second and think about it.

You might be imagining that moment where two characters profess their love for each other and everyone in the audience starts cheering.

There’s also a few other non-obvious meanings. Here’s what Google AI thinks about that phrase:

• Genuine care: It can be a sincere expression of love and care, meaning the speaker’s only desire is for the other person to be content and joyful in their life.
• Signal of relationship end: In a relationship context, it can mean the speaker can no longer make their partner happy and is gracefully accepting the end of the relationship.
• Lack of enthusiasm: It might be a way of saying that the speaker only wants to be in a relationship with someone who is genuinely excited to be in it, especially if the partner has seemed indecisive or non-committal.
• Placating remark: It can sometimes be used as a way to end a conversation or avoid a difficult issue, especially if the speaker is unwilling to put in the effort to address the other person’s concerns.

Notice how only one of those four meanings involves continuing the relationship. Also, notice how “Placating remark” involves saying this phrase and not meaning it.

Can you think of some other ways someone might say this phrase and not mean it?

• You might imagine someone saying this as a pickup line because they think it sounds romantic
• Or, maybe you’re imagining this in a controlling or abusive context where they say “I just want you to be happy…” but they really mean “…with me”

True confidence comes from being able to say this and mean it – even if that involves the other person choosing to go their separate way of their own free will.

Unfortunately, most of the classic films we grew up with taught us a different message.

How Disney taught us wrong when it comes to relationships

What’s the classic Disney line at the end of some of their early works?

“And they all lived happily ever after.”

This implies that after the Prince & Princess fall in love and the credits roll, all their problems were solved and they experienced marital bliss for the rest of their lives.

Sure, you might point out that Disney’s more modern works have moved away from this and include more female empowerment – which is correct. Films like Frozen, Moana, and more recently Zootopia show their female leads outside of romantic roles.

Unfortunately we’re still exposed to many contemporary works emphasizing how “they all lived happily ever after” each and every day. Take the Twilight series for example, which as Stephen King puts it, “…is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.”

(Okay, I just fact-checked that quote and it’s unclear if he actually said it but it’s attributed to him).

Let me put that Google AI snippet on your screen again. Look at that second bullet in particular…

• Genuine care: It can be a sincere expression of love and care, meaning the speaker’s only desire is for the other person to be content and joyful in their life.
• Signal of relationship end: In a relationship context, it can mean the speaker can no longer make their partner happy and is gracefully accepting the end of the relationship.

…sometimes, relationships just don’t work out. And sometimes it’s because their fundamental differences are just fatally incompatible. Maybe he loves meat but she’s a vegan. Or, maybe faith is really important to him but she’s an atheist.

There’s also the classic conflict of simply deciding what to eat for dinner.

(“Where do you want to eat?” “I’m up for anything what about you?” “How about Mexican?” “Nah” “Okay then where?” “I don’t know” [cue internal screaming])

You never have to deal with conflicts like these when you’re single. It’s a stark contrast to the messages we grew up with in Disney films because relationships do not “fix” us or make us live “happily ever after”. Dating & relationships often bring us more problems – not less – than being on our own.

It’s a choice of what problems we’re willing to put up with in a significant other. That’s the crux of being able to say “I just want you to be happy” and mean it. It’s not about finding the right person who will fix you.

It’s about genuinely wanting to add value to her life and finding someone who does the same for you.

That’s the mindset to adopt when it comes to dating. There’s a lot more planned for this newsletter in 2026 but that’s where it all starts.